Ant Update

A few weeks ago I included some conversations having to do with food poisoning, ants and - I can't remember what else - but the next day my mom sent an email asking, "When was the last time you had a Hepatitis shot?" plus some advice about getting rid of ants.

"Sprinkle cornmeal around the ant area. They will eat it and die," she told me.

She is such a good mom.

Cornmeal is not easy to come by, but I did find some last week. On Friday, I sprinkled some around the sink area. I did this just hours after picking up a package from my parents which included homemade fudge and peanut brittle and a bunch of packaged chocolates for my neighbors. I put the box on top of the refrigerator, thinking that it would stay safe from the ants. About an hour later I went to get K some brittle when I noticed a string of ants heading up the face of the fridge. I screamed. I rescued the fudge in time (the ants were just beginning to break into the ziplock), but K decided she had had enough.

"When the ants start messing with the homemade goods, it means all out war," she declared, or at least she declared something like that (and the declaration may have included some profanity - I can't remember).

So she dumps about an inch of cornmeal all over the counter, the shear force of which should have killed the ants right then and there. But they just crawled right over and around it. Actually, they seemed pretty excited about it, like it provided a neat new playground or something. Absolutely no deaths occurred.

The next day, I spoke with my mother and she told me not to worry, that it would take three days for the ants to fill themselves up with it and die.

So the cornmeal has been there all week long. As of this update, I swear that cornmeal is an ant reproductive aid. They have multiplied while playing on their grainy sand dunes.

My dad has sent me some ant traps for Christmas.

He is such a good dad.

I really can't think of anything I want more.

Any other suggestions?