Absolute Wonder, Flower Markets and Jelly Drinks

My morning rice woman never smiles at me. I kind of like it, really; she could care less that I am the neighborhood Foreign Amazon. She is not Banana Rice Cake Gracious nor Pineapple Lady Nasty. She is all about the rice. Purple rice, green rice, white rice with red beans and tapioca sauce, rice with sausage, coconut and peanuts. She doesn’t really ever look at me.

So a few weeks ago I am at her stand and she is not smiling nor looking at me. She is scooping out my favorite (of course, the one with tapioca sauce) when a girl approaches, quickly invading my personal space – a girl with a huge gaping smile and wide crossed eyes. As she gets within inches of my face and stares right into my (blue) eyes, I realize that she has something –maybe Downs— but I’m not quite sure. She is staring and laughing, staring and laughing. She says “hello”– a staple greeting everyone here knows for people who look like me.

“Hello,” I say, laughing.

“Hello!” she says, really loudly.

“Hello!”

“Hello!”

It’s the hello game, and it goes on for a bit. Kids love to play it with us, too.

People around the stand, both vendors and shoppers, look up.

She sticks out her hand and I shake it and she squeals.

"Hellllllloooooooooo!" she screams.

Then, suddenly, there are two of her. She is a twin, and her twin also has Downs.

Now they are both staring and laughing, staring and laughing, invading my personal space and gazing – I must say, with absolute wonder, into my eyes.

“Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello!”

Many people are laughing and smiling at this show. I just keep shaking their hands and returning their greetings. I look over at my rice lady and she is holding my little bag o rice, the corners of her mouth turned up a bit. Just a little bit.

Yes, the girls know how to say hello to foreigners, they know how to shake hands with foreigners, and you know what else they know how to do? They know how to hold their hands out and ask for money.

At this gesture, the crowd around me sucks in a collective gasp and the girls are scolded straight away. But my rice lady, she laughs. A big laugh. She looks at me and does the hand-circles-around-the-head gesture, the international language for "They aren't right in the head." Then she scolds them.

I think it's funny that she feels she needs to explain this to me, but it is the first time she has ever acknowledged me, so I just nod my head in understanding.

And, since then? Well, I see "the twins" all the time. I'm pretty sure they stalk me. I love to see them for a few reasons. 1) they are really, really sweet and 2) it is something to have two human beings look at you with such wonder when you haven't done one single thing to deserve it. They love to have their picture taken, too, which is why I thought to tell their story today. And the rice lady? Do you think she smiles at me, now that we have shared this funny moment and connected? Nope. She still gives me nothing. Except for yummy rice. Which is fine.

Ah, this neighborhood. This morning I am making my way through the busier-than-usual Tet market and when I turn the corner, a salon is blasting Abba's "I Have a Dream." What a juxtaposition. Pig ears and tails, smelly Durian fruit, incense and "I Have a Dream."

Speaking of Tet, I happened to wander into one of the many Tet flower markets in the city after school. The entire park is filled with potted flowers of all kinds. I really wanted my dad to be there with me, he loves his flowers. And speaking of juxtapositions, here is another one: a place called "Seventeen Saloon" with a Totem Pole (that looks just like one in Snohomish), a Tet Tree with Chinese Lanterns, fake fruit, wrapped gifts and a golden calf.

And speaking of really good things to eat...oh, wait, I haven't spoken of that in a while...I was at a different market today, just wandering around, and I found this display of jelly drinks. I love jelly drinks, but these looked extra special, and I had good instinct, because they were extra, extra specially good. Mine is pictured here, and these are the layers:

1) red stringy jelly

2) custard

3) green stringy jelly

4) lotus flower seeds

5) cream

6) ice

You mix it up and it's so yummy.

Everything is closing for Tet. Today I tell Nam to pick me up at the gym at 5 and after school I find out the gym is closed for the week. I have to find another ride home and then stop by Nam's great aunt's house to try to communicate to her (she seems to understand English only at her convenience), that Nam did not need to pick me up at 5. I point to a motorbike, make the Vietnamese negative gesture by putting my hand up and twisting it and I say Nam's name. It's a great pantomime. I do this five times (and I am so Obama tired, too). I am not successful. I know this because I see Nam's nephew on the street later and he tells me Nam went to pick me up at 5 and I wasn't there. It's so hard to have a mom to look after.

Oh, and I keep meaning to tell you why I haven't mentioned Thuy or Thanh or cooking Sundays. Well, evidently, they don't get shipments of fabric during Tet, so instead they turn their fabric stand into a Tet Candy and Cookie stand. It is open from 5 am until 9 pm, so they are busy and tired. Cooking classes will resume after Tet. Everything, I hope, will resume after Tet.
Tet of the Tet Offensive, by the way. You've all heard of it, right? If not, Google it and read the post on Tet again and you will have new insight.

Our internet is finally working again. We didn't pay our bill on time, which is becoming a very terrible theme. The guy across the alley from us, Henry, has been paying our bills when the various companies come to shut off our internet, water, electricity. He is so nice. The other day he had me get on his motorbike so he could show me where to pay most of our bills. Everything is done by cash here. The real estate agent I met last night told me that all of her transactions are in cash if she is dealing with Vietnamese people. They all have huge safes in their homes and keep stacks of dong in there. And, she says, bars of gold. They often pay her with them. So I guess they will be OK when the economy crashes, right?

I tried to stop this post a long time ago, and now I must. Stay tuned for Blog Contest Thursday tomorrow!

Saigon was Watching

I was out at a bar with Saigon until after one last night.

Again, it was an international crowd. Of course, Democrats for America were in the majority, but we were joined by people from France, Italy, Belgium, England, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, China - and lots of Vietnamese. Leading up to the speech, the noise in the bar drowned out the t.v, but the moment the main players walked out, two hundred (pretty drunk) people were absolutely silent. (Except for when Bush was introduced...let's just say this crowd was not brought up to respect the office of the presidency.)

During Obama's speech, many of these people, from all over the world, were sobbing. I'm sure it was the same for you.

We - about ten AIS staff members - got there early (7:30 pm) to get good seats next to one of the big screen t.v's at a restaurant/bar called "Xu." We were the first ones to arrive, except for one other woman we ended up adopting. She has been selling real estate in Saigon for only four months and couldn't bear to watch the inauguration by herself. Turns out she worked in the White House under G.H.W. Bush for his four years. She was hired as a three-month intern - just returned from working in the Peace Corps in Honduras - and after H.W.'s speech about "A Thousand Points of Light," she proposed the practical application of that idea (awarding individuals across the country as "points") and was hired after her three month volunteer internship.

Very interesting woman. Throughout the night, I grilled her for White House stories. She said Barbara and H.W. were both wonderful, grandmotherly and grandfatherly people. She said lots of stars came in and out all the time, so no one really took notice of them. Except for Michael Jackson. She said his face is really so freakish that you just can't look away.

As more and more people poured in, we got news of big screen t.v.'s on all over the city, broadcasting CNN.

It was great celebrating with the world, but of course, my homesickness factor in times like this is big. I will be revelling in what America did and what Obama will do all day in my delirium.

Also in my delirium, I will be adminstering finals and entering grades. No internet connection for three days in the castle, so I am at school, pretending to be a good, awake teacher.

God bless America. Wow.

Ancestor Souls are Coming to Town!

This is a picture of the Tet Tree at my second home, the Bum Bum Salon.*

If all of the correct tick marks were on the word "Tet" - you would pronounce it something like "Dee -yet" (but actually, nothing like "Dee-yet" at all. That's how it is with every Viet word, trust me.) Trees like this are all over the place; some are yellow dripping with red envelopes, and some are red dripping with yellow envelopes, like this one (Viet Nam's flag's colors). I love this one because it makes me think of my grandma: it's made of dyed pussy willow branches. My grandma loves them.

And, actually, it's very fitting that this Tet Tree reminds me of my grandma, because Tet, the Lunar New Year celebration that takes place for three days at the end of January, is all about family - including, most importantly, elders and ancestors. Vietnamese spirituality rests on the concept of family - the link between the living and the dead. Tet celebrates the renewal of nature and all living things. It's a celebration of culture and family values.

Perhaps you remember when I was in Dalat - our tour guide, Rot, took us back into his family's ancestor room and explained so many things I had been wondering about regarding the shrines - both the business shrine and the ancestor shrine. Everyone has an ancestor shrine. Many of them have photographs of their deceased family members, and the shrines are always filled with granfather's favorite fruit and grandmother's favorite cake and tea, and, always, incense.

He explained to us that in Viet Nam, people do not recognize birthdays as much as they recognize "death days." The anniversary of a family members' death oftentimes is cause for celebration and extended family get-togethers. I really love this concept -- what a way to honor your people. For example, my grandma's altar would have the pussy willows, tomatoes, beets, cucumber salad and homemade noodles. We would give them to her and she would give them back to us later. (Definitely the noodles, then). This reciprocation would make us all happy to think about her and her favorite things and how she has influenced our lives in such a good and loving way.

So, yeah, death strengthens the bonds of family. Ancestors play a central role in the fate of the living, because souls remain in the family altar. For two weeks before Tet, houses are decorated and altars are prepared to invite the ancestors to come in. We have seen many, many people painting their houses, or at least their house trims, getting ready for the new year. This morning, I could hardly move through the market for all of the bustle. More people are having parties in the street (including one very bad, loud karaoke party that lasted for four hours last Sunday). I guess you could compare it to the activity we experience at Christmas.

In traditional Viet families, mothers, fathers, kids, aunts, uncles, grandfathers and grandmothers all live under the same roof (like the house across from the castle where the grandfather hogs his granddaughter). If they don’t live together, Tet is the time that they reunite. On the eve of Tet, families make offerings to receive the ancestors into the home. At lunch or dinner, ancestors are invited to share tea, cake and fruit. At the end of the third or fourth day, the family holds a ceremony to bid the ancestors farewell, and their souls are filled with wishes for them in their other world, from where they will continue to watch over their families.

It's the communication between the living and the dead that gives Tet its spiritual significance. Life for Vietnamese people is ruled by the principles that have been handed down from the ancestors, which they will, in turn, hand down to their descendents.

And what do kids say about Tet? Well, I read all of the penpal letters they sent to 6th graders in Seattle last week. They have that kind of "Santa Claus is coming to town" look in their eyes. They can't wait to have the family together. They are excited to stay up all night. They love to bang pots and pans at midnight. But most of all...you know what is in those little red or yellow envelopes? Lucky Money. Lucky Money is given to all children, and in return for Lucky Money, the children will bless their parents in the year to come. It's an exchange of money for blessings, blessings for money. Which seems good and right. And next week, I have been told that there will be flower markets all over the city. Everyone will display fresh flowers in their homes. Doesn't it sound beautiful?

I can't help but think about what I would want on my own altar (it's similar to Mexico's Day of the Dead, so I have thought about this pre-Vietnam). I would want a beet, an eggplant, a carnita taco with a homemade tortilla, a good book, and the voice of Lyle Lovett playing always.

What about you? What would you want? I know we don't talk about or celebrate death in America, but I think we should. So, again, what's on your altar?


*My Bathttub Plan is going quite well and I have not washed my own hair for two weeks. Oh, and Rita, it costs $3 to have it washed, dried and straightened. The massage is $1.80. I know I have mentioned this, but many people continue to ask... I would, too, if I heard of a place like this, my own "Merry Old Land of Oz." Hair washes: 3X per week. Massages: 2X per week.

p.s. in my last post, I added a picture of my nephews and my brother-in-law wearing Vietnam's flag shirts, and someone I don't know posted that they should be careful wearing those shirts because of the pain that it would cause Vietnamese Americans who fled Communism. Well, Tarn found the following article about that very subject, if you are interested, here it is. Very timely:

http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-vietart18-2009jan18,0,1933859.story

So I think she is giving good advice, and perhaps I made a bad judgment call in sending those shirts. I guess I will have to do some make-up Tet shopping that is more appropriate!

p.p.s. I have received five entries for my contest. Keep them coming (except Brian).

Blog Contest Thursday: Become a Clothing Designer! (Prizes Involved!)

I got to thinking: why should I be keeping the fun of designing clothes and having them made all to myself? So I am opening it up to you. You submit a design and I will post through the process. I know it would be much more fun if you could have something made for yourself, but sorry - that just isn't possible. You must come to the castle to do that.

You can come to the market to help choose the fabric: type (linen, cotton, wool blend, etc), and color. You can also come with me to the seamstress we choose to use, which will depend on what you design: if you want silk, which is what the dress to the left is made out of, we go to the silk dressmaker, if you want a suit or a more complex dress, we will go to my seamstress Tram at the Ben Thanh Market (at top, I took this picture and pattern to her and she made the exact dress out of material the color in the middle, on top). If you want something simple and don't mind waiting (and if Thuy and Thanh have the material you want so we don't have a Pineapple Lady type of stand-off), we will go next door to Sweet Seamstress. And you'll come to the fitting, and see the adjustments, and learn the pricing.

Just remember, it is a delicate loyalty dance between all of my neighborhood associates, so not all combinations of fabric and seamstresses works. We may have to be discreet. (pictured at right: Nam's family's Persian Blue material, dress made by Sweet Seamstress, Ms. Hao, from a magazine picture).

Most importantly, whoever submits the winning design...a prize will be sent to you directly from the Triple Hot Shower Country of Vietnam's biggest city, Saigon, District #1. We can negotiate a prize, but some ideas I have are 1) a box set of your favorite HBO series (Sopranos, Sex and the City, etc.) or TV Series (30 Rock or The Office) or a variety of music DVD's (Katherine and I know how to collect them) 2) a silk scarf 3) bamboo serving bowls 4) a t-shirt with Vietnam's flag, modeled by my nephews and brother-in-law below, or 5) I can have a sign made for you, like the one K had made for me (The Castle, from last weekend's post), saying whatever you want.

Oh- there is another popular t-shirt that says "Good Morning, Vietnam" with Ho Chi Minh on it, which my brother likes. Those are just some possibilities. (Pictured at left: brown dress bought at The Gap. Purple dress: material bought from Thuy and Thanh, copy dress made by Ms. Hao.)

Here's what you can do:

1) Draw your own original design, scan it or take a digital picture.

2) Find a picture in a magazine, take a digital picture of it.

3) Go shopping with this in mind and bring your camera. Take a picture of something you like. Or perhaps you have a favorite item in your own closet you think I may like...same same. (I haven't been clothes shopping since September, when I learned that was not an option for Amazons like me.)

4) Find something online - like from Gap Online or J Jill Online, etc, and send the link to me.

5) Look at Vogue Patterns online, or McCall's Patterns online. They are easy to find. Link the one you like.

The sky is the limit. I have done all of these things and have gotten near perfect results.

Of course, at the end, I will have Katherine take a picture of me in my new clothes and post it. Only because it would be weird if I didn't.

My email address is marjiebowker@hotmail.com

The deadline for this first designer contest submission will be a week from today: next Thursday, January 22nd. If I have a lot of submissions, we will vote. If not, then I will continue the fun alone.

I hope it's fun for you, because if it is, we'll do it again.

My Bathtub Plan

If you had Mrs. Hughes for 9th grade English, you got to see the 1976 tv film version (brought in by the AV person on a reel) of F. Scott Fitzgerald's short story "Bernice Bobs Her Hair" (first published in the Saturday Evening Post in 1920). The made-for TV-version stars Shelley Duvall and Bud Cort (of Harold and Maude).

It's funny how some things stick with you. I think about this story a lot. You see, ugly, boring Bernice goes to visit her pretty, witty, popular cousin, Marjorie. Marjorie tires of Bernice quickly and tells her her only social hope is to deliver the right lines at the right time...to shock people. (Sbill (Mungo) and Jaci, do you remember this?)

When Bernice practices these lines on Marjorie's courting men, she meets great success. "I don't have any beaus at all," she recites with a pouty lip. And, this is the one I remember most for some reason, and she says it to a wide-eyed guy named Charlie: "I have such a frightful lot of hair. You know what I have taken to doing? First I powder my face , then I fix my hair, then I put on my hat, then I hop into tub, then I get dressed. Don’t you think that’s a wonderful plan, my bathtub plan?"

And of course, increasingly jealous Marjorie pushes her to announce that she will bob her hair, and so on... (this version is on YouTube, I just checked). But go back to the bathtub plan. That is what I am going to tell you now: My Bathtub Plan.

"I am really tired of washing my hair. You know what I have taken to doing? First I go to the gym, then I come home and shower, then I go to the Bum Bum, then they wash my hair for an hour, then they straighten it, then I wait two days and do it all over again. Don't you think that's a wonderful plan, my bathtub plan?"

So that is what I am sharing with you tonight. It's my bathtub plan experiment week. If this week goes well, I will not ever wash my own hair again in Vietnam. Usually, I am of the shower-every-day-variety, washing my hair every time. Well, here, I now go two days without washing my hair (note that I did not say "without showering"). It's unbelievable, but I think that they just wash hair so well here that it doesn't even feel dirty, even after two days. And you already know about my terrible water pressure (that isn't even come close to competing with the pressure of a urinating elephant).

So, there you go. My Bathtub Plan. Isn't it wonderful?

Nam Gifts

You're missing Nam, aren't you?

I don't blame you; I missed him when I was gone, too. It was great to walk out onto the street last Monday morning and have him waiting on his bike, reading the paper, giving me that same same half smile.

Time for a Nam story.

The day before break, I handed out a bunch of Christmas presents to people in the neighborhood. My mom sent some boxes of chocolates for this purpose, so I combined those with bags of cashews and pistachios and put them in these really cool bamboo bowls and wrapped them in Christmas paper. I gave one to my Banana Rice Cake with Tapioca Sauce Lady, one to my Sandwich Lady, one to Candle Neighbor and one to my Pomelo Lady. (Pineapple Lady didn't get one.) They did look rather surprised when I handed them over (presents are rarely exchanged, despite all of the Christmas hype), but they have been even more smiley with me since.

As for Nam...I decided to give him chocolates and a significant tip. I usually pay him 150,000 VND per week, which comes to about 90 cents per ride. I had a 200,000 VND tip in a Christmas card in which I wrote, "Thanks for being a good driver. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!" ready to give to him when he dropped me off Friday afternoon (to my light-less castle).

Well, on the way home from school, he stops in an alley across the main street from ours and pulls up to a stand where, of course, everyone knows his name. "Number One," he tells me, pointing to the food.

I don't need to tell you how much I love it when Nam says "Number One" and points to food. I have learned, though, that I cannot force these secrets out of him; they are revealed to me only when the time is right. He is slowly revealing the soul of his native grounds to me, and I have to accept the revelations as they come. So on this Friday afternoon of winter break, the time is right for him to show me the "Number One" deep fried spring roll, grilled pork on a stick and ground pork wrapped around sugar cane stand in the area. It's like his farewell gift to me. His connection wraps up my food to go, and as she does, my heart is beating quickly because I had not yet found the sugar cane pork in the neighborhood. Leave it to Nam to fill that gap.

Nam stops in front of the castle and says "see you again." I reach in my bag and hand him his wrapped gift. The card on top says "Nam." His first reaction is to point at his name. I have left the tick mark off of the a and this bothers him.

I shrug. "Whatever." Yeah...whatever, Nam.

He takes it and I get the half smile. "See you again," he says, again.

So. When he picks me up from school last Monday (btw, he has not been even a second late since the tip and I swear he carries himself differently), I ask him if he can take me to the "Number One" place for dinner. He puts his hand in the air and twists it back and forth- the hand signal for the negative in Vietnam. It seems that that particular stand closes at 4. It's now 5. But when we get to our main street, he passes it. He makes an eating gesture. About ten blocks down he pulls over and there is another cart selling identical food items. He orders for me and, like usual, he is particular about how they package it up. On the way home we stop at his aunt's house. He runs in and comes out with a wrapped gift and hands it to me with his half smile.

I don't open it until I get to the castle. He's given me Tet decorations...Tet is Vietnam's biggest holiday - Chinese New Year, which is in just a few weeks (I will have to explain it in some depth in another post). There are two strings inside, one with Chinese symbols and one with words. There is a card, too, and, written in English (most likely by his nephew) it says, "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, Ms. Marjorie. Mr. Nam" (including the tick mark).

The next day, when we get to school, he motions a student I don't know over for translation.

It takes him a long time to explain what he wants to know, but finally, the student says to me, "He took you somewhere to eat yesterday. He wants to know, which place did you like better, that one, or the one near your neighborhood?'

I don't hesitate. "The one near my neighborhood."

When the student tells Nam, Nam grins and nods. I have answered correctly. We remain on the same page. Phew. More secrets are coming, surely; I am worthy.

When he drops me off that night, he gets off his bike and follows me into the castle. He wants to make sure I hang the decorations suitably, so he points to a few places where they may look good. He looks pleased when he sees the calendar hanging by the door.

Do you know of anyone who deserves a Christmas tip more?

Tarn Stalks the Musical Bicycle

Now that I can load videos, you've gotta see this one. Tarn took this a few months ago and I laugh every time I see it. Something about the combination of the scene itself plus picturing Tarn stalking this guy on Pretty Lady kills me every time.