Last week I was hit by an asteroid while crossing the Aurora Bridge on Hwy 99. While this should have been featured on Evening Magazine, it was not; however, getting hit by an asteroid is a very good way to start any story. The next day, I had my windshield replaced and also posted this Craigslist ad:
Microwave and/or small refrigerator
Reply to: sale-109020151@craigslist.org
Date: 2005-11-05, 12:09AM PST
I teach at an alternative high school where I have ten students in a twenty minute "family" class every day. I would like to make a “classroom kitchen” where my students are able to recharge, relax, drink cocoa, make popcorn, etc. If you have a microwave and/or a small refrigerator not in use, I would love to take them off your hands. Thank you!
Out of the 12
responses I receive, the one I call happens to be the mother of someone I know, Josh Green. Josh is currently the chef of Ponti, but I know him because he dated my former yearbook editor, Jessica McCarthy, back in high
school. A few months ago when I volunteered at FareStart, Josh was the Guest Chef; during our conversation there, he tells me that his father is the principal of Shorewood HS. The woman on the phone who wants to give me her microwave happens to mention that her husband is the principal at Shorewood (since I wanted the items for my classroom). This anecdote is just a little side note in the story…but I was floored by the coincidence. The day after picking up the Green microwave in Magnolia, I receive this response from my ad:
From: "buffer01@comcast.net"
To: sale-109020151@craigslist.org
Subject: refriger
ator
Date: Mon, 7 Nov 2005 06:56:51 -0500
I have a small refrigerator available for no charge, but there is a small
catch. I took it as a souvenir from my job at the Atlanta police
department a few years ago. It was evidence in the Andnem Sihntar serial
killer case. It works fine, runs quietly, and it even has a little freezer
compartment inside. But Mr. Sihntar used it to store body parts. To give
you an idea of the size, it held 3 heads, a foot, and 7 cans of Pepsi when
it was found. I don't want it anymore, and I'd hate to throw it away since
it works. But I th
ought you should know its background first. Contact me
at buffer01@comcast.net if you're interested. Pickup in Lynnwood.
I laugh because it is sick yet funny, and I Google Andhem Si
ntar’s name (just in case)… I find nothing on him. I read the posting out loud to my classes and of course they want me to accept the fridge - badly. I tell them that this guy should get an award for creativity, but that it isn’t true. I also forward the ad to some of my friends and say, “I don’t want this, but maybe you do…” That evening, I get a response from my friend Dennis. The “streak” he is referring to is some good karma I had mentioned to him a few days before.
Date: Mon, 7 No
v 2005 10:59:58 -0800 (PST)
From: "Dennis Hartman"
Subject: Re: FW: refrigerator
To: "Marjie Bowker"
Oh my god! Your streak was bound to end sometime, but who knew it would happen so spectacularly? I'm pretty sure I saw this case on "Forensic Files" a couple months ago. The name and Atlanta both are familiar. It was memorable because he was a woodworker and he used industrial tools to cut up his victims (i.e., dismembering them with a bandsaw, and turning bones on a lathe to make chopsticks or something). Pretty messy. Also, I think his name was an anagram for something -- can't remember what. How totally bizarre you should be drawn into a serial murder drama...
So, are you going to
take the fridge?
Dennis watches very strange TV. OK, so was Dennis’ memory serving him correctly? Later that evening, he sends me this:
Date: Mon, 7 Nov 2005 20:20:24 -0800 (PST)
From: "Dennis Hartman"
Subject: found it
To: “Marjie Bowker”
Here's the one I was thinking of. I'll Tivo it if it airs again.
"Little Woodshop of Horrors" — The Andnem Sihntar Case
When Atlanta college students begin vanishing, an entire community starts searching for answers. Investigators wonder if the cases are linked. The question is answered when a boy scout troop makes a grisly discovery. Tracing the perpetrator's movements not only leads them to refrigerated remains, but also a nightmarish woodshop where the killer plied his craft. DNA profiling and a hidden fingerprint help detectives unlock the real name behind the killer's anagram, and seal the case against him.
The following forensic terms are used in this episode. For fuller
definitions, click on
any term.
• Autopsy - The internal examination of a body after death...
• Bloodstain Interpretati
on - Th
e interpretation of size, shape, orientation, and distribution of bloodstains on vari
ous surfaces...
• Finger
print - The unique patterns created by skin ridges found on the palm sides of fingers and thumbs.
• Forensic Science - The
applic
ation of science to law and the investigation of criminal activity.
• Medical Examiner - A medical doctor who determines ca
uses of
death, performs autopsies, and acts as an expert witness...
• Trace Evidence - Material deposited at a crime scene that can only be detected thro
ugh a d
eliberate processing procedure.
I can’t believe it, it’s true! The killer exists, and his refrigerator has made its way to Lynnwood and it is being offered to me – but not only his refrigerator. I receive this email th
e following day:
From:
Reply To: buffer01@comcast.net
To:
Subject: more
Date: Mon, 7 Nov 2005 19:57:48 -0500
I left an email earlier about the refrigerator. It occured to me your high
school might be a good home for some other items I want to get rid of. I
also have several commercial grade woodworking tools. I don't know if high
schools still have wood shop as a class? There is a router, lathe, planer,
table saw, and a large band saw. They all work fine and are industrial
models. buffer01@comcast if interested.
I forward
this to Dennis. I am really freaked out. “What else can you find out?” I ask him. Meanwhile, I read the postings to my classes and they are horrified/delighted and really, really want the fridge and the t
ools now. Later that day, Dennis sends me this article from the Atlanta Journal:
Date: Mon, 7 Nov 2005 23:04:52 -0800 (PST)
From: "Dennis Hartman"
Subject: holy crap
To: “Marjie Bowker”
Sorry I missed your call -- just got home and saw your email. Jeez. Maybe the meteorite was an omen. Check out this article. (You didn't answer my question: are you going to get the fridge?)
Woodshop Killer Deat
h Was
Suicide, Says Board of Inquiry
By DAVID SIMPSON
The Atlanta Journal-
Constitution
Published on: 09/04/05
The Georgia Prisons Commissioner said today
the death of the "Woodshop Killer" w
as a suicide. On July 11, Andnem Sihntar was found dead in his cell at Reidsville State Prison, with no obvious signs of
traum
a. He was serving a life sentence for the murders of six Atlanta area college students. A special Board of Inquiry was convened to inv
estigate claims he w
as killed to protect police officials he said had framed him.
Full autopsy results have not been released, and
Commissioner Fred Rogers declined to annou
nce the cause of death. "I cannot share the findings o
f the medical examiner until the Board of Inquiry
completes its report to the Governor. But in light of the
allegations of police misconduct I feel it's important to share that this death wa
s clearly a suicide." Rogers said the full report, including the
medical findings, would be made public by the end of the month.
Sihntar's 2002 trial revealed investigative sloppiness in the Atlant
a PD, and was a public relations disaster for the DA's Office. During cross-examination
, the arresting officers unex
pectedly invoked their fifth amendment right against self-incrimination, seriously weakening the DA's case. Also during the trial
, it was
discovered that evidence lab technician Michael Buff was actually Sihntar's estranged step-brother. Media coverage of Bu
ff revealed
he had a long criminal record of fraud and domestic violence. Defense attorneys argued that Buff and the arresting officers conspired to fram
e Sih
ntar, and implied Buff was involved in the murders. Buff was fired two days before Sihntar was convicted. The officer
s were suspended with pay, and
later reinstated.
If you look back at th
e sender’s address, it’s buffer01@comcast.net. Michael Buff, the lab technician. A chill passes over me; my only consolation is that I posted the Craigslist ad anonymously. But my ad has definitely
attracted a wacko, and he seems to want attention. I email the article and the responses to my friend who is a sergeant at the Lynnwood Police Department and ask him to look up a “Michael Buff of Lynnwood.”
The next morning, feeling very spooked (and SO jumpy), I go to school and on my way into class I tell my colleague, Jeff, to come in and take a look at the emails. “You won’t believe this,” I tell him. When I open up my hotmail, there are two new messages from Buffer (check out the subject line on the first one):
From:
Reply To: buffer0
1@comcast.net
To: “Marjie Bowker”
Subject: I WON'T BE IGNORED
Date: Tue, 8 Nov 2005 10:23:27 -0500
Do you want the fridge?
I am speechless. I see that Buffer has emailed the message to my personal hotmail account, which is my first and last name. “He knows who I am,” I tell Jeff, and I begin to hyperventilate. If he knows my name, he knows where I teach and where I live. I see that the other message contains “crime scene photos” but I can’t bring myself to open them. “How does he know my name?” I keep asking Jeff, but Jeff is as baffled as I am. Did he disable something in Craigslist? Does he work for Craigslist? I start to cry (actually my eyes are just watering a bit). Finally, I try to open the pictures, but something blocks them from opening. For long minutes, Jeff and I try to figure out what to do. Finally, I’m able to open the second picture:
From:
Reply To: buffer01@comcast.net
To: “Marjie Bowker”
Subject: crime scene photos for you
Date: Tue, 8 Nov 2005 10:44:34 -0500
Ok, since you don't want the fridge or the slightly used woodshop tools,
here's something else that might interest you. One photo is a mugshot
following my arrest for "Pranking in the 1st Degree." The other d
epict
s my
Lederhosen Gang preparing to commit "Felony Kinderspa
zen". Have you
figured out the "Andnem S
ihntar" anagram yet? Keep t
rying...
Jeff thinks they are pictures of Buffer’s
victims, but I know this kid in a tie and lederhosen. These pictures are of Dennis, as a kid. Dennis had shown them to me a few weeks before. It takes me a moment to get myself together to explain, even though I still don’t get it. “This is my friend,” I tell Jeff. My face is red, I am laughing and crying. Jeff’s response… “I want to meet your friend”- then he figures out the anagram: Andhem Sintar is a scrambled form of “Dennis Hartman.” Dennis must have cut and pasted his anagram into a real story from Atlanta. (Later, Jeff admits that for one moment, one brief period of time before the truth was revealed, he regretted ever meeting me - due to my connection with Buffer…)
So…that story is still not why I am on Evening Magazine, but before I tell you that part, I must relate that I went through the whole email string with my terrified classes. I get to the one that says “I WILL NOT BE IGNORED” and some of the girls are out of their seats, whimpering…”He’s going to kill you, Marjie!” Then I ask them if they want to see the crime scene photos (heightened by the fact that I have new technology and can project my laptop on a big screen in the front of the room), and of course their anticipation is delicious. When they finally see the disappointing pictures, I tell them the truth of my “friend” behind the whole thing. They are quickly renewed. They watch Ashton Kutcher’s “Punk’d” and now Dennis is their new hero. The story spreads through the school like crazy and I am famous. But not Evening Magazine famous, yet.
After school, I call Dennis and give him a going over. I am still feeling the remnants of being stalked by the woodshop killer. I can’t shake it and my adrenaline is high. I tell him the parts about the police and crying, and he begins to repent. If the pictures had opened right away, I wouldn’t have experienced the terror…he sent the “ignore” message and the pictures at the same time to my account so that I would figure it out quickly. He buys me dinner. At dinner, he tells me that after I had stopped by his Queen Anne house post- microwave-in-Magnolia, he had gone onto Craigslist, found my ad, and answered it with the body parts in the fridge message. His plan was to ask me, in a few weeks, “Did you ever get any more responses from that ad you placed?” But then I had forwarded his own posting to him, and he said he had to continue. He had written the two articles himself, made webpages and cut and pasted the logos (Dennis is currently unemployed).
But Dennis continues to feel worse for making me cry. The next day he calls and says he is going to buy my class a refrigerator. I tell him that someone else from Craigslist offered to sell me one for $35, and that she lives close to Scriber. Dennis offers to pick up the fridge and deliver it to me at school, but says it won’t be until about 4. So I stay at school late and wait, and wait… Finally, Dennis calls and says he is out in the parking lot. I run out to meet him and he is being followed by a girl with a microphone and a guy with a camera. They are from Evening Magazine. Dennis tells me that he contacted them to record his apology. I tell Dennis he is a really freaky friend. Privately, I think, wow, his ego has gotten really huge over this.
They follow me into my classroom and record Dennis setting up the fridge, then apologizing to me. I think it is very, very strange, but the camera is rolling. When it is all set up, of course I open the door to the fridge. The contents make me recoil, slam the door and run to the other side of the room. There are two human heads in the fridge.
So that is what will show on Evening Magazine, and this is why: (No, they are not putting Dennis away, although maybe the police will after seeing the show and realizing that he made illegal web pages). The day after revealing himself as Buffer, when Dennis decides to buy my class a refrigerator, he posts the following Craigslist want ad:
Reply to: sale-100911109@craigslist.org
Date: 2005-11-08, 9:01PM PST
I’m looking for fake human heads to punctuate a well-crafted prank. A single head would be fine, but I’m hoping to find 3-4 in order to fill a mini-fridge. The perfect head would be life-sized and latex. Gory wounds or missing eyes are ok. A head in a jar would also suffice. Maybe someone has some Halloween leftovers?
You already know he got the heads, but that part is freaky, too. A resident on Queen Anne (Dennis’ neighborhood) replied and said he would put his two latex heads in a plastic bag, put Dennis’ name on it, and leave it at Starbucks…no charge for the heads, by the way. So, Dennis picks up the heads (left anonymously, in a plastic bag…!). When he returns home, he finds another reply to his ad:
Hello,
My name is Kim. I’m a reporter for Evening Magazine. It just so happens that we’re doing a whole special on things people buy, sell, ask for, etc. on Craigslist and classified ads. We “love” your ad and wonder if we could talk to you briefly about it. The special wouldn’t air for more than a week, so it hopefully wouldn’t ruin your prank. We’re looking for the “stories” attached to the ads – and it sounds like you might have a good one.
Here’s how to reach me:
Kim Griffis
Reporter/Evening Magazine
206-448-28=977
kgriffis@king5.com
We’re on a deadline, so please let us know soon if you are willing to play along.
Thank you!!!
Kim
“Play along?”…Dennis? He claims that he was second-guessing whether or not to put the heads in the fridge, but my guess is that he didn’t hesitate long before calling Kim and planning when and where to meet (mumbling “he he he” while wringing his hands together, no doubt). The first thing Kim says to Dennis when she sees him is “Well, you look normal!”
But he isn’t. I don’t know how to be friends with him anymore. I don’t think that Craigslist even exists, but rather that he started it five years ago and marketed it aggressively in order to play this trick on me. How many layers can a prank have? Dennis says that all he really did was send that first email. Quoting him, “After that first email, it was no longer mine. I was just a slave to IT.”
I think there is one thing we can agree upon…all of us. Dennis needs a job. Or he needs to get hit by an asteroid.
Anyway, the show will air on Monday the 21st of November. I’m sure there will only be a five second clip of me and that in that clip I will look completely baffled and stupid. Dennis, on the other hand, got an entire interview outside of Scriber (while I was waiting and waiting for him) and I’m sure he’s quite smooth, like the Devil.
Whatever the case, it’s my five seconds of fame, and I am still relieved that it’s not due to my head filling a mini-fridge. Stay tuned for stories of which students I choose to open the fridge on Monday and how they react!
ater now, not even for a ferry ride to 
